


Heart-shaped Boxes

by craterdweller



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Holidays, Season/Series 01, Traditions, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:02:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29565828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craterdweller/pseuds/craterdweller
Summary: Jack, Daniel, and General Hammond explain a popular Valentine's Day tradition to Teal'c.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2021, Trope Bingo: Round Sixteen





	Heart-shaped Boxes

“Daniel Jackson, what is the significance of the large, heart-shaped boxes the females on base carry today?”

“Uh, it’s Valentine’s Day. It’s an Earth custom.”

The Jaffa raised an eyebrow and waited for Daniel to elaborate further.

“Well, some say Valentine’s Day can be traced back to the 6th century B.C. During the festival of Lupercalia, Roman priests would sacrifice goats and dogs and then use the blood-soaked hides to slap women on the streets as a fertility blessing.”

Teal’c’s other eyebrow rose. “Indeed. So, this is part of the human mating ritual. But, how do the heart-shaped boxes of chocolate fit in?”

“Oh, well, I guess it is because modern women wouldn’t appreciate being slapped with a bloody hide.”

“Or some guy in England saw an opportunity to make a lot of money selling chocolate.” Colonel Jack O’Neill dropped into his usual chair with a barely disguised scowl.

“Err, yes. That too,” Daniel conceded.

“You do not approve of this ritual, O’Neill? Is it not desirable to find a mate?”

Jack’s scowl deepened. He started fiddling with his pen and shot a quick glance to Hammond’s closed office door. “Look, I’ve got nothing against—mating, but it is the whole commercialismthing.” He waved his hand in a sweeping gesture. “I mean, what woman wants the same mass-produced, heart-shaped box of overpriced chocolate that thousands of other women have just like it?”

“Indeed. So your objection is to the appropriateness of the gift chosen, rather than the celebration of the ritual itself?”

“Exactly.” Jack took a sip of his coffee.

“So what then was the appropriate gift you chose for Captain Carter?”

Jack spewed coffee all over the mission brief. “What? No, Teal’c. Uh, help me out here Daniel.” O’Neil glared at the snickering archaeologist.

A low chuckle emanated from the general who took his customary seat at the head of the table. “There’s nothing wrong with giving a woman a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s Day, Teal’c. My wife loved to garden, so even though many would consider it cliche, she loved receiving flowers on Valentine’s Day.”

“I see. So, the manner of the gift depends on the recipient.”

“Yes.” The general’s blue eyes twinkled. “And to answer your other question, I have it on good authority Captain Carter received a case of blue jello this morning from a secret admirer.” He winked at O’Neill.

O’Neill slouched further in his chair and muttered, “D’oh.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts:  
> Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2021: All Male (s.116)  
> Trope Bingo Round 16: Anonymity


End file.
